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Put Others Next
After you have loved the Lord with all your heart, soul, and
strength and after you have gotten your love relationship
with yourself clear – now you can love your neighbor. Your
lifelong love will first enter your life as a stranger and as your
relationship begins to grow and develop, you will recognize
them as someone special.
When it comes to new people, intentionally choose to believe
the truth about others. See them through clear eyes. Know
that they are already who they are. What you see is what you
get, regardless of what they say they are going to do in the
future. Your addition to their lives will only improve them
if you are pushing them toward their purpose in life (which
is not
your
idea of their purpose in life). The converse is also
true. Their addition to your life must propel you toward your
purpose in life as well. If not, you may have to re-evaluate
the relationship. If your job involves traveling and they hate
everything related to traveling, your being joined together
may cause more friction than harmony. Be willing to let go
and move on.
Second, love others. Having a habit of being loving toward
others will instantly be an open door to getting to know this
special someone. Allow them to be in your presence without
you attempting to change or fix them. Remember that God
loves them the same way He loves you. Your lifelong love will
enjoy you more if you practice loving them rather than judg-
ing or correcting them.
Third, be honest with yourself about others and act accord-
ingly. Be honest with yourself when you discover various
things about others. If you like what you see, then move
forward. If you don’t like what you see, believe it and move
on. Don’t park there and tell yourself that you can pray that
problem away for them. Give them the freedom to work out
their own salvation around their difficulties. You can wait
patiently for the results and then sign on the dotted line later.
Remember, when you marry someone, characteristics that are
displayed while dating are not heightened in marriage. If you
can handle who they are and love them as they are in their
current state, any progress they make in any area is just icing
on the cake.
KnowWhat You are Doing
Finally, preparing for lifelong love is a process. When you
have your expectations of yourself and others in order, you
have a better chance of recognizing where you are on the
journey to lifelong love. Be aware of what you have to offer
when it comes to being a
soulmate
for someone. Hone your
skills and face your challenges. Have your list of must have’s
and can’t stand’s ready so that you can evaluate potential
matches and differentiate a potential friend from a candidate
for lifelong love. Remember that your heavenly Father is
participating in this process and He is the best source of con-
firmation for your progress. He loves you first and is actively
preparing for you to not only have lifelong love but to be
the answer to someone else’s quest for lifelong love. God is a
matchmaker, and He always wants the best for you.
Dr. Torri Love Griffin, LPC is a Love and
Relationships Coach practicing in the
Atlanta, Georgia area. She teaches singles,
couples and hopefuls to Use Common
SENSE to Remove NonSENSE so Rela-
tionships Make SENSE.