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In pursuit of Mr. or Ms. Right, many find themselves settling
for Mr. He’ll-Do-for-Now or Ms. Fill-in-the-Gap. Many even
stop at Mr. Wrong and I’ll-Make-Him-Right or Ms. Cute-
Enough. Not everyone knows how to pursue the mystical
soulmate
. Even if someone does encounter his or her potential
soulmate
, misperceptions and unrealistic expectations might
cause the couple to miss out since the person may not appear
to be in the “right package.”
Lifelong love is not found through an accidental meeting
in a grocery store somewhere. The best way to find it is to
prepare for it. For some, that means joining with that special
someone who becomes their
soulmate
but for most it means
becoming that special someone to be joined to. This is true
for both men and women—we all have work to do to prepare
ourselves for the blessing that is to come in the form of some-
one else to love.
Here are some tips to consider in doing the work. For some,
this will be review, but for others this could be a six-month
process. Your job is to get things in order.
Put God First
He made you, He loves you, and He wants first place. One of
the Ten Commandments says, “…thou shalt have no other
gods before Me.” First, know your God. He has great plans
for you and your love life. He also has guidelines for your
safety while on the journey to find your lifelong love.
Second, love your God. Give to God what is God’s. Practice
loving Him and being loved by Him. He is the best lover on
earth and He loves you unconditionally. Being faithful to
God is good practice and faithfulness may show Him that He
can trust you with that special someone He’s been saving for
you to love.
Third, be honest with God. Stay connected! Develop a really
clear relationship with Him that includes speaking to and
hearing from Him. Tune totally in to Him. When you mess
up—just admit it. Take the time to confess it so that you
don’t allow a wall of separation to develop between you and
God. Your heavenly Father is the safest place to be yourself
completely, and trusting Him is good practice for trusting
your lifelong love.
Put Self Second
Jesus said it this way, “Love the Lord your God with all of
your heart, soul and strength…and love your neighbor as
yourself.” So first you must know yourself. Know that you
have a responsibility to be the person that God created you
to be. He likes who you are and He has already seen who
you will become. Embrace God’s view of your potential and
make great plans for your own life. Make great plans for
your love life! If you were somehow emotionally scarred in
your past, admit it, connect to God, and allow yourself to
go through the healing process. This process will prepare you
for healthy lifelong love. If you have personal work to do in
a certain area, do it. A person with temper issues who winds
up with someone who also has temper issues may be asking
for trouble. Understand that certain people will be good for
you and others will not. However, God is in the matchmak-
ing business, and He knows how to make a perfect match. In
the card game of concentration, players have to turn over a
few cards before they find two that look alike. Be patient and
know that God knows what’s best for you. He’ll let you know
when you’ve found a good match.
Second, love yourself. Be an example of how you want others
to treat you. Know that what you say about yourself is more
important than what others say to or about you. Don’t let
yourself fall in love with just anyone. If you turn over a mis-
match, be willing to put it back and try again. Don’t just call
it a match because you came across it. Your lifelong love will
have certain qualities that make them a match for who you
are now as well as who you are becoming. Take the time to
see what synergy is created when you two are together. That
is a sign that can be trusted.
Third, be honest with yourself. Recognize that you are grow-
ing and learning with every decision and every circumstance
you find yourself in. Sometimes you choose well, other
times . . . not so much. Whenever you make a mistake, deal
with the consequences and move on. Decide to use your
newfound knowledge to make a better decision next time.
Having the flexibility to recognize when a change needs to be
made and making it is a quality that your lifelong love will
appreciate.